Morning Mishap Enthusiast Gifts

'Wife's having a makeover...daughter's having a sleepover...Firm's having a takeover. I have a hangover...and you?'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

spellchecker

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I can't turn it off.'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

Broken hospital sign.

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

'Must've pressed the wrong button. Hang on, I'll ask the nurse.'

Sleepy man dribbling on a woman on the London underground

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

You are here but you should be here

'Bruce, your dingleberry's ringing'

A skier who has hit a solitary tree

Wordilly Durdillies - Larry needed time to get his head together