Mystical Mishap Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

spellchecker

Dyslexic Palm Reading

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

'I can't turn it off.'

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"The card you are thinking of is... the fifth of Jacks!"

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"Please—no technology questions!"

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

A little green monster

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Broken hospital sign.

Ballerina kicking another dancer in the face.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!