Mystical Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

spellchecker

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I can't turn it off.'

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"The card you are thinking of is... the fifth of Jacks!"

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"Please—no technology questions!"

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

A little green monster

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Broken hospital sign.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

Ballerina kicking another dancer in the face.

Two hunters and a near miss

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'