Mic Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

Sen.Krupt. The microphone I didn't know was on took my remarks out of context.

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

spellchecker

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"The card you are thinking of is... the fifth of Jacks!"

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Natalie Merchant

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

Hospital ER. My CD player malfunctioned! And now there's a song stuck in his head!

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

Aw, dang, grabbed my cell phone.

"Gesundheit!"

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

Occupational Hazards of Playing the Harp.

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."

'All that training and he walks into the mike.'

Magician tells of Apprentice

Sorry, not sorry.

Forgot that the return key would actually send the text.

"You need to get out here – we just had another texting-while-walking mishap."

'I switched it to a TV cable modem, and now it just watches 'I Love Lucy' all day!'

IRS: 'I haven't filed because my computer's been down since 2007!'