Mic Mishap Enthusiast Prints

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

spellchecker

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"The card you are thinking of is... the fifth of Jacks!"

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Natalie Merchant

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

"Gesundheit!"

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."

Occupational Hazards of Playing the Harp.

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

IRS: 'I haven't filed because my computer's been down since 2007!'

Sorry, not sorry.

'All that training and he walks into the mike.'

Magician tells of Apprentice

"You need to get out here – we just had another texting-while-walking mishap."

'I switched it to a TV cable modem, and now it just watches 'I Love Lucy' all day!'

Forgot that the return key would actually send the text.

"Harry, the glaucoma machine needs adjusting again!"