Communication Mishap Aficionado Pillows

"Sorry about pocket dialing you last night... And then pocket texting, and then pocket emailing, and then pocket leaving angry voicemails, and then..."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

Complaints departement for men and women.

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

Woman finds something in her soup.

Computer Address Book.

'The problem is, you say no problem.'

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

spellchecker

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Your apology rings hollow. Let's try it again, without the attitude."

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

'Rudolph, I've reason to believe that you're moonlighting for a mobile phone company.'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"Is this in case the electric grid goes down and we can't text or tweet?"

'Todd... I just feel like you're never here for me!'

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

'If you don't mind, I'm trying to use the telephone here.'

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

Penfriend

Luckily for Sarah, her training had included a unit on detecting signs of negative body language.

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"She started it."

"This is Ms. Watkins, a vital member of our greet staff."

"This concludes my lecture on non-verbal communication. Any comments or questions?"

'This call may be monitored for quality, so you'd better have a good reason for bothering us.'