Communication Mishaps Pillows

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'You made me jump,'

"I meant to let Mr. Goldman know I’d be happy to work on Saturday, but I accidentally typed, ‘I hope your house is infested by termites.’"

"How should I know what I'm thinking? I'm not a mind reader."

Social network site runs into trouble.

'I've met someone else unwilling to share his feelings with me.'

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

"I should let you know, you accidentally forwarded THAT mail to me."

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

"We usually shop in the comfort of our own home but the bloody computer crashed."

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

"Honey, I got a brand-new bow for our car!"

Old People Whisperer

"Size 16? Sorry, I thought you said 61."

Come back, sir! "Leave room for cream" was a question, not directions.

Cow wants to quit, but can't say anything helpful when he needs to.

"Hi! I'm on the trina."

"Just curious, Edward. Have you ever butt dialed another woman?"

"Stop or I'll cancel!"

'Actually, Mrs. Jenkins, I said to hold my calls!'

Did You Know That...men only use the left hand side of their brain for listening?

"No, they're not mooning you, that's a peach emoji."

'Not that sort of 'mobile' you great fat t***."

"Yes, this is Mr. Potus ...no, not the President of the United States."

"Sorry about pocket dialing you last night... And then pocket texting, and then pocket emailing, and then pocket leaving angry voicemails, and then..."

Tie caught in the Fax

"First of all, I said 'We are going to plunder'."

"I'm having an affair."

Society for Asking Stupid Questions

'This will teach you to not use your computer in the tub. You can search for cars online after you get out.'

"Hold your horses! I'm reading the instructions."