Morning Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

'Wife's having a makeover...daughter's having a sleepover...Firm's having a takeover. I have a hangover...and you?'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

spellchecker

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I can't turn it off.'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

Broken hospital sign.

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

'Must've pressed the wrong button. Hang on, I'll ask the nurse.'

'Oops sorry, but it is such a big target'

Wordilly Durdillies - Larry needed time to get his head together

You are here but you should be here

"Oops, forgot.... I also have REALLY high blood pressure."

A skier who has hit a solitary tree

Sleepy man dribbling on a woman on the London underground