Meeting Mishap Enthusiasts Gifts

"Mensa group? I thought this was the menses group. That's just great. You people, don't talk to me!"

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

The hall of bad ideas.

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

spellchecker

'Let me start off by saying this: I called you in here by mistake, and now I want you to leave.'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

Dyslexic Palm Reading

Damn predictive text, did you mean to break up with me or 'brick my tit'?"

Drawing board disaster.

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'Last month's meeting ended on a high note. Primarily because a disgruntled investor kicked our CEO in the groin.'

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

'I was let down by the old bouncy castle.'

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

Ballerina kicking another dancer in the face.

"Sarge, I think I've found the owner of that driverless sleigh discovered up north!"

'Oh, no -- not again!'

Rental Car Return. By the way, the airbags worked great!

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

Hospital ER. My CD player malfunctioned! And now there's a song stuck in his head!

'Bruce, your dingleberry's ringing'

'Oops sorry, but it is such a big target'

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

'You're Jack Tinsley, the lawyer? Great, I was just on the way to see you about an accident I had this morning.'

Sen.Krupt. The microphone I didn't know was on took my remarks out of context.

"Looks like we've broken into the stained glass market."

IRS: 'I haven't filed because my computer's been down since 2007!'

'I switched it to a TV cable modem, and now it just watches 'I Love Lucy' all day!'