Outdoor Mishap Aficionado Gifts

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

The hall of bad ideas.

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I can't turn it off.'

A football referee accidentally shoots his starting pistol in his pocket.

'Oh, I'm not looking for Gold, I'm checking for bear-traps...'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Broken hospital sign.

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

Rental Car Return. By the way, the airbags worked great!

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

"911? My husband is complaining of chest pains!"

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

A skier who has hit a solitary tree

"Did you make all these 911 calls?"

"Oops, forgot.... I also have REALLY high blood pressure."