Domestic Mishap Aficionado Gifts

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

spellchecker

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Crash Test Dummy Jokes that Get Old Fast. Oh, no! Somebody cut the brakes! Every single time.

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

Leaking washing machine.

'Darn! The wife is gonna kill me for not reading the label.'

"You might want to take this. It's your wife."

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

Typical Taurus.

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

"911? My husband is complaining of chest pains!"

Bumper stickers in the Demolition Derby.

"I left the toilet seat up once too often."

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

"You get a great view of the ball park from here."

'Oops sorry, but it is such a big target'

'I told you not to lean on the door Ronald!'

'No, something really slinky -- I wrecked the car!'

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'Can you hang on for half an hour? We're still waiting for the reality TV crew to turn up'