Morning Mischief Makers Gifts

Wife woken by husband shooting rabbits from the bedroom window

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'okay...where did you hide it?'

Newt sale

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

"Gesundheit!"

Photobooth Photobomb

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

"I think we both know who did it...."

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Hallowe'en wake up call

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

"My dad ate my homework."

Doggie Bowl Drill

"So nice to spend a week just ransacking with the kids."

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"If that's my mom tell her I'm at recess."

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

God creates humans.