Morning Mischief Makers Pillows

Wife woken by husband shooting rabbits from the bedroom window

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'okay...where did you hide it?'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

Photobooth Photobomb

"Gesundheit!"

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Hallowe'en wake up call

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

"If that's my mom tell her I'm at recess."

"My dad ate my homework."

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

God creates humans.

"So nice to spend a week just ransacking with the kids."

Doggie Bowl Drill

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'