Morning Mischief Lover Pillows

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

"Dad's half asleep. He was using the fly swatter to flip the pancakes."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Playing pig

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

The Tooth Ferret

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Hallowe'en wake up call

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

Halloween health & safety.

Obstruction of justice? Yeah, I can give you something for that.

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'Good morning!'

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

'Give me a mortgage!...'

"Who made this mess?"

'Begging at the table again, eh?'

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

Hey, wait a sec … Forget it! If you think I'm letting you off the hook for forgetting our anniversary, think again! Didn't you also accuse me of forgetting it just a couple of months ago? What date were we hitched? Don't change the subject.

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

"That's Terry. Terry once crapped all over Kensington Gardens."

"I'm sorry, ma'am. We thought your luggage tags said 'Austria'."

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

"Worst case of hypochondria I've ever seen."

HMS Pinafore

The Cornucopia Trap

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

'That's the last time I go there - Bagpipes and Karaoke just don't mix!'

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'

Wife woken by husband shooting rabbits from the bedroom window

"So this is what you do when I pretend to leave, then come back unexpectedly in five minutes."