Morning Mischief Lover Pillows

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

"Dad's half asleep. He was using the fly swatter to flip the pancakes."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

The Tooth Ferret

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Hallowe'en wake up call

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Halloween health & safety.

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'Good morning!'

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

'Give me a mortgage!...'

"Who made this mess?"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

'Begging at the table again, eh?'

'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

"That's Terry. Terry once crapped all over Kensington Gardens."

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

HMS Pinafore

"Worst case of hypochondria I've ever seen."

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

The Cornucopia Trap

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

Wife woken by husband shooting rabbits from the bedroom window

'That's the last time I go there - Bagpipes and Karaoke just don't mix!'

"So this is what you do when I pretend to leave, then come back unexpectedly in five minutes."

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'

'How can one person do so many stupid things?'

'He seems cranky, but his heart is in the right place -- we gave him an MRI to be sure.'