Morning Chaos Enthusiast Gifts

'Bill's alarm clocks were going off early today.'

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

Tired Barbie

Kiss the Commander in Chef

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

1,572 Performances.

'The part I love is when they come home and say 'WHO did this?. . .'

Unrest Area.

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

'Do you want toast with that?'

A doorman fires a gun into the air.

Chaos Theory Conference.

'You got him here before the tardy bell, Mrs. Bates, but I'm not sure he's prepared to learn.'

"What?"

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

"I'm more of a day owl."

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

"You stop it, now!"

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

Extreme Birthdays.