Morning Chaos Navigator Gifts

Tired Barbie

Hot trends on the school run. . .

'You got him here before the tardy bell, Mrs. Bates, but I'm not sure he's prepared to learn.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

How to correctly estimate cooking time

Signs of Stress

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Careful

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

Going to the pub with kids...

Working from home.

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

"The therapeutic petting zoo creatures have calmed the office, but the cleaning crew is freaking out!"