Money Hoarder Gifts

"I lost my hunger a long time ago, but luckily, I found my greed."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

Young Geeks.

'The sagaman must have had a googol of inedita.'

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"They're all the books I've self published on amazon."

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

"Hi honey, could you run by the bookstore on the way home? We're almost out of poetry."

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

'Damn it! Wait your turn!'

Junk Mail.

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

"My financial advisor says buy gold"

The gold price chart.

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

'I only collect ghost-written books.'

'You stop buying books and I'll stop buying plants.'

'In other news, gold is headed higher, according to some fool who's put every last dollar into gold stocks and futures.'