Memory Hoarder Gifts

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

Ernie, cramming a lifetime's worth of junk into every cupboard, closet and corner of your home makes you a hoarder, not a prepper.

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

"The last bottle we bought on vacation. I hate to come home and consume all our memories."

"There's me with my phone. . . that's me with a bottle of vodka. . . there I am with my gun."

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

AA Meeting Here Today

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

Junk Mail.

"Run! My laptop is so full of apps, downloads, old documents, screenshots and junk files, it's about to explode!"

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."

"How can we tell if this old movie poster is valuable?"

"I save all my old computers, monitors and devices. I have a hard time letting go."

'It's come to out attention that you've been hoarding intellectual properties."

Santa with a bag of toys and a bag of batteries for toys.

"You have 2,974 tabs open. I suggest closing about 2,970 of them. That may speed up your computer."

"Even though I wasn't making a big salary, I always saved ten percent of my messages."

'The Bosmans' wedding announcement? Stick it on the fridge so we don't forget about it.'

'John's found it harder to kick his eBay habit than drugs.'

Data stored in the cloud effect star gazing even more than city lights.