Digital Hoarder Gifts

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

"And to Nathan, I bequeath 200 terabytes of photos."

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"You have 2,974 tabs open. I suggest closing about 2,970 of them. That may speed up your computer."

"I should take all our old computers, gadgets and phones out of the attic. The ceiling can no longer take the weight."

"That's all the stuff that came out of your laptop? I suggest not waiting so long to clean it."

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'Scary to think my entire life's work is in this computer. And if it weren't for the games and music, it would fit on a floppy!'

'John's found it harder to kick his eBay habit than drugs.'

"He's upset because I told him that having 20,000 apps on his phone is excessive."

"I'm sorry I accidentally threw the USB flash drive away. If we go through the trash, we can find it. It should only take a few years."

"Run! My laptop is so full of apps, downloads, old documents, screenshots and junk files, it's about to explode!"

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"I've run out of computer space. It's filled with fund-raising emails from politicians."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

music store

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

'It's come to out attention that you've been hoarding intellectual properties."

"I save all my old computers, monitors and devices. I have a hard time letting go."

"She’s getting the house and cars, but you get to retain all your unique streaming services passwords."

'Who has the remote?'

"I'm not complaining, but I just thought there would be more perks to Heaven than unlimited data on my phone."

Data stored in the cloud effect star gazing even more than city lights.