Tech Hoarder Gifts

"I save all my old computers, monitors and devices. I have a hard time letting go."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

AA Meeting Here Today

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

Inside One's Memory Bank

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

"Run! My laptop is so full of apps, downloads, old documents, screenshots and junk files, it's about to explode!"

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

Everyday is cyber Monday.

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

'It's come to out attention that you've been hoarding intellectual properties."

"You have 2,974 tabs open. I suggest closing about 2,970 of them. That may speed up your computer."

Santa with a bag of toys and a bag of batteries for toys.

"I'm sorry I accidentally threw the USB flash drive away. If we go through the trash, we can find it. It should only take a few years."

Data stored in the cloud effect star gazing even more than city lights.

"I'm not complaining, but I just thought there would be more perks to Heaven than unlimited data on my phone."

'John's found it harder to kick his eBay habit than drugs.'

Recycling bins for glass, paper, metal and IDEAS.

Electronics. It's a great idea, but nobody makes campaign-canceling headphones.

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

"*Sigh* these smart appliances always know when it's tax refund time."

'Hey,COOL headphones buddy'

"No one knows the 'meaning of life,' but the meaning of YOUR life?...That's right here on this flash drive."

"I've run out of computer space. It's filled with fund-raising emails from politicians."

Ernie, cramming a lifetime's worth of junk into every cupboard, closet and corner of your home makes you a hoarder, not a prepper.

A barrage of CDs.