Idea Hoarder Gifts

'It's come to out attention that you've been hoarding intellectual properties."

Idea Storage: U.S. politics

'That's our mission statement.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

Brain storm

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

Young Geeks.

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

'The sagaman must have had a googol of inedita.'

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'I've invented copyright.'

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

"Vince prides himself on his open mind, and you'd be suprised at some of the things that crawl into it."

"I'm just sitting here waiting for an idea who's time has come...but apparently it's running late."

Writer Will Work For One Good Plot Idea

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"