Gold Hoarder Gifts

"My financial advisor says buy gold"

The gold price chart.

'That's our mission statement.'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

Investor alternates between hating and loving gold, depending on the stock market's performance.

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

'To tell you the truth, you've ruined the gold market, Mr Midas!'

'As you can see, we've been recapitalized.'

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

"Let's get to work, there's gold in them there hills."

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'

"Gold is finally making a move and you sit here doing nothing."

'Why don't you just invest in gold?'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

"I see you getting rich because of what the gold in your rings is now bringing."

Buy Gold

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

'It's to help me cut down on gourds and such. It's the pumpkin patch.'

"When do we all start frantically buying gold again?"

"I still haven't found any gold for my portfolio."

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

'I've been out here a long time. Is it still $35 an ounce?'

'I didn't ask you to help me when it was $90 an ounce, and I didn't ask you to help me when it was $110 an ounce. But when it's $400 an ounce...'

'Boy, is Mom going to be happy when she hears we melted down her gold cards and got $950 an ounce for them!'

'That's the second gold tooth he's swallowed.'

King Midas, The Original Gold Bug.