Cash Hoarder Gifts

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

"Sorry about the clutter. It's been one of those weeks."

'Walter doesn't trust banks.'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

Young Geeks.

'The sagaman must have had a googol of inedita.'

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

"Hi honey, could you run by the bookstore on the way home? We're almost out of poetry."

"They're all the books I've self published on amazon."

'Damn it! Wait your turn!'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

"My financial advisor says buy gold"

The gold price chart.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

'I only collect ghost-written books.'

'You stop buying books and I'll stop buying plants.'

"Diversification doesn't mean hiding the money under the mattress, the sofa and 2 chairs!"

'In other news, gold is headed higher, according to some fool who's put every last dollar into gold stocks and futures.'

"This leads to the actual library."