Treasure Hoarder Gifts

'Get her to sign a pre-nup: You don't want to give her half your treasure if it ends up in a divorce...'

'That's our mission statement.'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Treasure Island Book.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Pirate

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

Archaeologists discover a football

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

'It's a treasure map.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.