Mom Mischief Makers Pillows

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"Gesundheit!"

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Hallowe'en wake up call

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

'Good morning!'

'If you text for a glass of water one more time, Daddy's going to take away your cell phone.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

Tommy Cooper.

'You may not have many faults, but you really make the most of the ones you do have.'

"What were those songs you were singing?"

One C Battery, Two Double A's.

'Hey, Mom! -- You want to hear a dirty story?'

'Sorry about that. My dog got a hold of my voodoo doll.'

"Your wife told me to tell you that she is really enjoying...the money you didn't steal!"

"Look at me. Still writing B.C. on my checks."