Maternity Mischief Maker Pillows

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"Gesundheit!"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

Less expensive equivalent.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Hallowe'en wake up call

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Department of Foreign Affairs Foreign Affairs staff and their Mistresses from various parts of the World,having some fun in the office, witnessed by a stunned member of the public.

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'Good morning!'

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

Frankie the discount genie

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.