Maternity Mischief Maker Pillows

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Gesundheit!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Less expensive equivalent.

Hallowe'en wake up call

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Department of Foreign Affairs Foreign Affairs staff and their Mistresses from various parts of the World,having some fun in the office, witnessed by a stunned member of the public.

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

'Good morning!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

Frankie the discount genie

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.