Motherhood Mischief Maker Pillows

"Look at me. Still writing B.C. on my checks."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Gesundheit!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

Hallowe'en wake up call

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

'Good morning!'

'If you text for a glass of water one more time, Daddy's going to take away your cell phone.'

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"I now pronounce you man and wife... Would you be interested in purchasing a maintenance agreement?"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

"What were those songs you were singing?"

'What did the kids do now?!'

"Sorry to bother you but I can't ask my son for computer help while he's in a in time out."

'My lawyer told me to never put anything in writing.'

Wife woken by husband shooting rabbits from the bedroom window