Parent Of Little Mischief-makers Pillows

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Bad dog."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

'If you text for a glass of water one more time, Daddy's going to take away your cell phone.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'Hey kid, what are you in for?'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

Why is your two-year old so quiet?

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

Urine sample

I'm beginning to see why they call these SELF-inking stamps'

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

'You may not have many faults, but you really make the most of the ones you do have.'

A Foot Guard being teased by children.

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

'Hey, Mom! -- You want to hear a dirty story?'