Parent Of Little Mischief-makers Gifts

You put sparkling water in the WHAT?

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Bad dog."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

'Gee, mom, how DID that happen? Maybe we better Google it!'

'If you text for a glass of water one more time, Daddy's going to take away your cell phone.'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'Hey kid, what are you in for?'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Why is your two-year old so quiet?

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

Urine sample

'You may not have many faults, but you really make the most of the ones you do have.'

I'm beginning to see why they call these SELF-inking stamps'

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

A Foot Guard being teased by children.

By the way, my foot's asleep. So, I guess an unscrupulous woman who wanted to play footsie with me could pretty much get away with murder right now. !

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

'Mom, Jason is making negative robocalls about me!'

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"