Modern Thinkers Gifts

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'I haven't decided whether or not I want children, but I know I don't want any husbands!'

Ideas Pope.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

The Googler

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Screen Time vs Book Time

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

'I'd go back if I were you.'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

Like.

"Remember, it's Boy, Girl, LGBT, Boy, Girl, LG . . ."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"This looks good, Jim, but we'd better run it by legal, Siri, and Alexa."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"