Modern Sleuth T-Shirts

'I let Facebook and My-Space do most of the leg work. I just park outside houses wearing a trilby.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

The Modern Godot

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Don't look know, but I think you're being Googled.

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

'I see you have some blended content. Some of it's tue, some of it's false.'

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

I don't trust that guy.

'It looks fishy to me.'

'You haven't confirmed the Superstring theory, Blumenkraft - this is a whisker from your beard!'

Six Degrees of Depradation

'Cops and Rubbers.'

Arthur Conan Doyle

Anti-Vaxxers aren't stupid. They just need to be convinced!

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

"I'm looking for justice."

"People are scum."

'...But in case God misses something...'

"Dr. Flaubert, I'm from the science police, and I'd like you to answer some questions about your last paper."

"After eliminating all suspects...the murderer can only one person."

"I won't be needed a new laptop as stated in my email. I've found one on top of my Mum's wardrobe."

"Why don't you lot concentrate on catching some real criminals? - Like motorists?"