Unconventional Sleuth T-Shirts

"I'm looking for justice."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'You've been killing files again.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

The Modern Godot

Missing Easter Egg

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

Optician and the PI.

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

Net Zero Superstitions

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

I don't trust that guy.

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

The Banana Crime

Sherlock Holmes.

'You haven't confirmed the Superstring theory, Blumenkraft - this is a whisker from your beard!'