Sophistication Sleuth T-Shirts

"Anyone who doesn't know you, would think you are sophisticated."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

Bryan Ferry

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Experts through the ages.

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

GM Crops Genie.

Undercover Biophysicists

The Modern Godot

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Newton's Law and Order.

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

Spy Satellite

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Schrodingers cat at the vets

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

'Trying to steal secrets again, Dr. Figowitz?'

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"I think glamour is fine until it slips over into glitz."