Syndrome Sleuth T-Shirts

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Newton's Law and Order.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Undercover Biophysicists

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

GM Crops Genie.

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'

'Trying to steal secrets again, Dr. Figowitz?'

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

'...but our most useful publication is the 'Journal of Don't-Do-It: It's-Already-Been-Done.''

'Leaves glow away...Apples fall to the ground...Ah, ha. Apples are heavier than leaves.'

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

"I keep up with all the journals."