Modern Parenthood Observers Pillows

'In vitro fertilization and sperm banks. I remember the old days when you couldn't outsource having kids.'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"He just said his first word!"

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

'We've created a teenager!'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

Mice 25¢

Waiting Room

Maternity Hospital

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

Three Parent Baby

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'Yes, yes, honey, I'm watching you!'

Big book of memes

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"

"They grow up so fast. From Mother Goose to Google."

'It never fails to stop him crying - handing him the phone.'

'We'd like to christen him 2GR4T7VXS35. That way it'll be easier for him to get his own web domain name when he's older.'

Modern Baby Mobiles

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

'This pacifier looks like a cell phone to make the inevitable transition that much easier.'

"I got a dog as a replacement child."

Step Mom's Diner: Under New Management.

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

"Have you noticed the kids never ask us anything since they learned to google?"

"No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting."

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.