Modern Mysticism Enthusiast Gifts

'Wait! What's this? A text message from the other side.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Czarcasm

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"Do you have an appointment?"

Wikipedia...

God's Phone

"All the celebrities come here."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

Witches of Instagram

"Did you have a cat?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

Nikolay Rerih

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

"You're on mute."

Yogi back in 5.

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"