Modern Mysticism Gifts

A Fortune-teller clicking on her mouse attached to her crystal ball.

Plugged In

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Czarcasm

Tiny Visions

The Witches Discover The Wok

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Wikipedia...

"Do you have an appointment?"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

God's Phone

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"All the celebrities come here."

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

Witches of Instagram

'Your future looks charming.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Ill next Thursday