Modern-day Mystic Gifts

"Thou doth surely have enough followers to become the Messiah."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Wikipedia...

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

God's Phone

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"All the celebrities come here."

Witches of Instagram

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

Unicorn in the Woods

Nikolay Rerih

"Your grandma and I have decided to live together."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Yogi back in 5.

"You're on mute."

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

Crystal Ball Plug

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"All the better to ignore you with."

Snake with headphones.

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.