Modern-day Mystic Gifts

"Thou doth surely have enough followers to become the Messiah."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Wikipedia...

"Do you have an appointment?"

God's Phone

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"All the celebrities come here."

Witches of Instagram

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

Unicorn in the Woods

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Nikolay Rerih

"Your grandma and I have decided to live together."

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

"You're on mute."

Yogi back in 5.

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

Snake with headphones.

'It's my new fortune e-reader.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

Crystal Ball Plug

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

"All the better to ignore you with."

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'