Modern Day Spiritualist Gifts

"Behold the secret to happiness."

reincarnated worm...

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

Guru.

Wikipedia...

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

God's Phone

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"Make me one with everything!"

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"Herb's from Texas."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

Witches of Instagram

"All the celebrities come here."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Those are the Divinity students.'