Modern Spiritualist Gifts

'I'm not going to bore you with a long sermon to-day - here's one I recorded earlier...'

reincarnated worm...

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Wikipedia...

"Do you have an appointment?"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

God's Phone

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"Herb's from Texas."

Witches of Instagram

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"All the celebrities come here."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

Cat Seance

"Your husband says BOO!"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."