Modern Mysticism T-Shirts

A Fortune-teller clicking on her mouse attached to her crystal ball.

Plugged In

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Czarcasm

Tiny Visions

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

The Witches Discover The Wok

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Wikipedia...

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"Do you have an appointment?"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

God's Phone

"All the celebrities come here."

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

Witches of Instagram

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'Your future looks charming.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."