Modern Mystic T-Shirts

'You've stumped me with that question, I think that's something you need to Google'

"Oh, we used to use a crystal ball, but hacking into your credit files is much more informative!"

'This takes the guesswork out of choosing the site for our new headquarters.'

'I finally discovered the secret of the Universe, and I forgot to bookmark it!'

'I can't do next Friday'

'I haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Broadband is Near

God's Phone

"Don't be so chintzy with the life line!"

'Until this year, I couldn't find the meaning of life...but then I switched search engines.'

Yogi back in 5.

'Do you know how much it would COST to get wi-fi out here?'

'I think you're overdoing the yoga classes.'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Anything yet?"

Virtual reality guru.

"The algorithms that control your future say things are looking good. . ."

'I only do biometric readings now.'

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

Internet Search- Find God

God's Phone

"I am referring you to some alternative medicine..."

"Try distance healing if you like, but it's a bit of a long shot"

"Welcome to the wise man on the mountain. My advice is now automated so listen carefully for your menu options. To continue in English press 1 now. For the meaning of life press 2 now..."

"Oh hell - I'm getting a seance."

'No, no, he's not dancing for rain - he's dancing for a new weather-forecasting super-computer.'

'Your life lacks meaning I entered 'raison d'etre' on the computer and here are a few ideas...'

Astronaut dowsing on new planet.

'It's okay, John. Everyone's entire life fits on a microchip.'

"You will never catch up with the new technology."

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"