Modern Medicine Critic Gifts

"Would you mind if I ask SIRI for a 2nd opinion?"

"If you need anything just log on with your personal pin code to the hospitals intranet where you'll find instructions for accessing the site where you can notify staff of any requirements you may have."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

Current location

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

'You'll be fine. Take two aspirin and call, fax, text or email me in the morning.'

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

'Here's my DNA sequence.'

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

Cost Of NHS Treatment - 'Honestly Mr Reade, I can't find anything wrong with you.'

"Great job everybody. Now let's close 'em up and bill 'em."

"Supersize me."

M.D. Mister Jones is back with his sore throat --- He Googled instead of gargled.

'You're husband's death is an absolute tragedy, it's going to play havoc with my monthly mortality targets.'

"All I got was this participation ribbon."

Most common side effects...

"Of course, this will require extensive plastic surgery!"

'I will now demonstrate the laying on of hands - MINE not yours!'

"I curse the day I ever heard of Ginkgo Biloba."

'Side effects'

'You should consult my Doctor. You'll never live to regret it.'

Specialist Directory: Cardiology, Dermatology, Hematology, Leeches

"Great flash mob, isn't it?"