Modern Medicine Admirers Gifts

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Current location

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

Hell's Angels

Doctors in Love.

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

'You'll be fine. Take two aspirin and call, fax, text or email me in the morning.'

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

'We didn't know what to do with all our old, outdated equipment, so we made a sculpture garden from it.'

'Here's my DNA sequence.'

"We can thank Hippocrates for changing healing from an occult art to a science."

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

'It may not be the solution you were looking for, but physician-assisted noogies are the best I can legally go.'

"Supersize me."

"Of course, this will require extensive plastic surgery!"

The Aestetico-Neuralgicon- An Aid to Delivery of Inhaled Medicines

Alert with Ibuprofen

Specialist Directory: Cardiology, Dermatology, Hematology, Leeches

"It's a soluble aspirin you fool!"