Modern Medicine Enthusiast Gifts

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Little doctor.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Parts Department

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

Doctors

Current location

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

Medical Examinations.

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'Urology...can you hold?'

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

Doctor testing patient reflexes with unusual results.