Modern Martyrs Gifts

The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"You may now kiss the bride."

Wikipedia...

"Do you have an appointment?"

God's Phone

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"I have an app for that."

The ten ammendments

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

Witches of Instagram

"All the celebrities come here."

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Yogi back in 5.

"You're on mute."

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

Snake with headphones.

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

Crystal Ball Plug

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

God's Phone

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."