Modern Disciple Gifts

"Lord, if my prayers are pleasing to Thee, please confirm by fax."

Moses on the web

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

God's Phone

"I have an app for that."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

The ten ammendments

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'Does it come on Disc?'

"At least we've got a nice day for it..!"

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

Way too much anthropomorphising

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

"Can we wait a few seconds? I'm downloading the Excuse App."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'