Disciple Gifts

If Peter had only interpreted Jesus' words literally...

Moses on the web

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

God's Phone

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"I have an app for that."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

Spiritual Lives Matter

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"At least we've got a nice day for it..!"

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

Way too much anthropomorphising

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'Does it come on Disc?'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'We've lost the ability to fly Dad: To fly! How is that evolution?'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'I'm on the workaholic's diet. I only eat when I can put it on an expense account.'

You Have 1 New Messages

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

Gracebook.

"OMG! 12 followers already...this thing could go viral."