Meeting Martyr Gifts

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Out and In.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"What's a debenture?"

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"I need to see your budget proposal."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'