Modern History Humorist Gifts

The Modern Narcissus

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Apples for sale

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Vlad the Impala

"You're on a what?!"

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"Hipsters"

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

"Right here's fine."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

The discovery of asparagus.

What's an Imax cave?

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

Stonehenge Explained